I Don't Know What I'm Doing!

Yes I am at a four year university, and I am majoring in Management, but when people ask me what I want to do with my degree I freeze up and don't know how to answer so I just tell them, "I don't know yet." But the thing is, I want to know what my passion is, and I want to know what my job is going to be after I graduate. As a kid I tried many sports and musical instruments but I never stuck with one of them. That's how I am with choosing a career.

I guess you could say that I am somewhat jealous of the people who have their life planned out during their first year in college. I have thought of a lot of things I could do from making my own business all the way to being an American Sign Language Interpreter. I know I can't see myself doing a boring Average Joe job. I want to make a difference in at least one person's life while pursuing my career.

The reason why I haven't stuck to one idea of a career is because I haven't found one that will be so enjoyable that it's like I never have to work a day in my life. I haven't found my passion yet. Many people choose the job they want to do because of the high salary, but I just want to be happy in what I am going to be doing for the rest of my life.

Don't get me wrong! I love it here, but college is like a whole different stage in life. You are kind of an adult and kind of still a kid. You don't have a real world job, and you live in a dorm on campus. I don't really like this in-between type of stage. I always think about how I just can't wait til I have my life together, and I am finally living on my own and supporting myself. I, however, don't want to rush the time I do have in college because it is supposed to be the time of your life, right?

Sometimes I think to myself, "What am I doing here? Why am I going to this expensive school when I don't know what I want to do once I graduate?" These are probably not good thoughts to have, but I have an external locus of control outlook on this topic (which means I am relying on faith). I believe that God is going to bring me to whatever profession I am meant to be in. A wise bird once whispered in my ear and told me that I shouldn't worry about this but telling me not to worry is like telling me not to breathe. I am going to take that bird's advice and not worry about it as much.

All I am trying to say is that it scares me that I don't know what my life has to offer. I don't like the unknown, but what I do know is that God has my back, and He will lead me through any struggles that may come my way.